My Life of AND

     Every year, Romi, my friend, mentor, and overall badass encourages us to consider what word will guide our year. I've always followed her guidance, spending quiet time considering what I learned from the previous year and what I hoped to carry into the new year. I've picked On Purpose, Focus, Joy, Hope, and others...broad concepts that met the mark, but never really made me uncomfortable enough to be real. 

    I spent a lot of time avoiding certain parts of who I am, or who I want to be, because I struggled with the reconciliation of the good and the bad, the strong and the weak, the pretty and the ugly, the successful and the failed. Because of that, I am confident that I have stumbled on my path more than I should, and definitely more than I would have liked.

    Of this, I am tired. I've spent a lot of time over the past year and a half working on me. Podcasts, Bible studies, continuing education courses, reflection, prayer, and even a few attempts at meditation. 

    My word for 2022 has been AND. Instead of limiting who I am by undermining my strengths because of my weaknesses, I choose to acknowledge both. Some of this is superficial, like "I love my family AND they drive me crazy" or "I love having clean clothes AND I hate doing laundry." But the growth will come from acknowledging and embracing the bigger, scarier, more vulnerable ones.

-I am a good mother AND I worry that I'm messing up my kids.

-I love my jobs AND I struggle with feeling unfulfilled.

-I am a good coach AND I suffer from Imposter's Syndrome.

-I provide nutrition coaching and support AND I've battled disordered eating. Twice.

-I encourage pursuing happiness AND I struggle with depression.

-I love so much about my life AND I wonder what could have been.

-I have big goals AND I can get paralyzed by fear.

-I love making progress in life AND I consistently overthink.

-I believe in forgiveness and second chances AND I often deny them to myself.

-I have a great husband AND marriage is hard.

-I have a deep and growing faith AND I don't talk about it in certain circles.

-I acknowledge I am too much for some people AND I struggle when I know someone doesn't like me.

-I recognize I am not enough for some people AND I struggle with knowing I'm not sufficient.

-I often spread myself too thin AND I often waste a lot of time.

-I am creative and come up with good ideas AND I struggle with follow through. 

-I generally see a clear path forward AND I am indecisive and uncertain. 


There are so many ANDs in life. Sometimes just the idea of seeing two sides, admitting they exist, can be overwhelming. It can limit our ability to make choices, to own our path, or to value our skills and contributions. As Brené Brown says in her latest book, Atlas of the Heart, "Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid." So for this year, I will continue to work on embracing both sides of the AND, so that I can more confidently march in the direction I feel I'm meant to go. And for you, I wish the same.



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